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His nurse asked, “What’s so funny?”The doctor replies, “You need to go in and see this old guy. He has his girlfriend’s name, ‘Tina’ tat...ooed on his pecker.”So the nurse decides to go check it out. A while later she comes out of the exam room and tells the doctor, “You were mistaken about him. He doesn’t have his girlfriend’s name tattooed on his equipment, he has his ship’s name tattooed on it. The Ticonderoga!”These are compliments of Andrew B.A guy walks into a post office one day to see a. My friend Julie had invited me. Who cares if I was still in High school? I was 17 years old and about to get hit on by cute college boys. I made up the lie to my dad really easily. I just told him I was going to Julie’s house. I was going to stay with her. It wasn’t even really a lie…I was going to be with Julie, but if he knew I was going to a Frat party he would have forbidden it. As we got dressed, I put on my favorite skirt and a tank top. Julie looked a little disgusted. “You don’t have. Your body is covered in sweat. Someone moves a piece of ice across your nipples and then your clit briefly. Hair brushes across your nipples as she brings the piece of ice to your lips, teasing you with it before she slides it into your mouth. Once you've swallowed the ice, a dildo tasting of pussy is put in your mouth, slowly fucking your mouth as the vibe in your pussy is turned to four. Your nipples are being sucked on again. Fingers on your clit pushing towards the vibe humming away inside. Now i really know what the words "now I'm lying on the cold hard ground" from the song I Know You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift meant.I sleep like a log that night and had a really absurd dream where I was some sort of zombie king sitting in a throne. I looked down at my hands and surely i was zomified however i wasn't all crazy about eating people. I had a army of normal zombies that eat people under my command. I also caught glimpses of Wendy being held up by 2 zombies. Later on I woke up in.
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